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Old 08-23-2005, 03:38 PM   #1
Robin Springall
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Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Ealing Common, London W5, where I duplicate CDs and DVDs.
Posts: 1,259
Default Of Greece and Goats...

Hello gang, just came back from a fortnight on a Greek island, and thought you'd enjoy a little tale. We hired this gorgeous villa with our own swimming pool, all wonderfully secluded in the middle of nowhere on Skopelos, and it was just superb. The best way to get an all-over tan, as it turned out!

So here's the story: we had to rescue a goat from the pool. Yes, honestly, and it was such a hoot! One afternoon my wife and I were upstairs enjoying, um, a romantic siesta <blush> when we heard clip clop, clip clop, clip clop, crossing the patio and moving away to the pool. OK, so half a dozen goats must have got out of the farmer's field and into our garden looking for some water. We had a bit of a giggle about it, and she said to me "I hope the things aren't so stupid that they fall in!"

Next thing, there was an almighty splosh followed by this desperate bleating sound. We just couldn't believe that one of them had actually done it - no, surely not? Even goats can't be that thick, can they? It doesn't matter what you're doing, you can't just ignore something like this so, not bothering to put anything on, I padded down to the pool and, yep, there was this daft goat, bleating away for all it was worth, doing doggy-paddle up and down the pool. It managed to get its forelegs out of the water and onto the side a few times, but it was clear that it couldn't do any more than that.

I looked up and saw my wife standing in the doorway (just as naked as me) with her hand over her mouth, staring incredulously; then she started laughing, and I started laughing, and the whole thing was just so funny that we had to hold on to each other to stop ourselves from falling over. After a while, through all the mirth, we realized that the goat was pretty helpless, and the only way the poor animal was going to live was if the two of us got it out of the water before it drowned. So we kind of shooed it into a corner of the deep end, where it anchored itself with its two front legs out of the water.

We approached the goat warily, walking together down the side of the pool, trying not alarm it by laughing too much. She said "I reckon that if I can get alongside it and hold onto it by its neck, and if you can bend down and sling your arms underneath its hindquarters, there should be enough buoyancy for us to give a few decent heaves and get the animal out." Thanks, love. But I couldn't come up with a better idea, so we decided to have a bash and see what happened.

Amazingly it worked, but it took two goes. My wife had managed to get hold of its front end, but I was having some difficulty grappling with the back as the goat's fur was wet and it kept slipping out of my arms. And a goat is heavy, besides. Then I found it was a lot easier when I got right behind the animal with my legs spread wide for stability, rather than standing at its side. The reason we had to have two attempts at the rescue was my wife turned round to see how I was doing and (remember that we were still absolutely stark naked) we both suddenly realized how this operation must have looked to a casual observer - especially with me apparently humping away at the goat's rear with a strained expression on my face, and my wife encouraging me from the other end!! It is simply impossible to carry on lifting something while you're falling about in stitches of laughter, so we ended up dropping the poor thing, and the three of us fell right into the water: me, wife and goat, all bleating together!

As you can imagine, she and I needed a few minutes before we could even begin to get coherent again, let alone attempt to actually do anything sensible. When we managed to get ourselves into something more than just a giggling mess, we looked about to find the goat back in the corner of the pool, in the same postion as before, front legs out of the water, apparently waiting for us to finish larking about and come and rescue it. It took some time, of course, but we finally hauled the beast out of the water, and it simply trotted off to join the others, soaking wet and a bit cleaner of course, but otherwise unharmed!

The goats must have decided that they were far safer back in their field, as we never saw them in the garden again.
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