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Old 11-30-2008, 06:42 AM   #1
Robin Springall
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Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Ealing Common, London W5, where I duplicate CDs and DVDs.
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Default An announcement too far

On the underground yesterday, waiting for the train to start, and over the Tannoy came the miserable voice of the driver, in a monotone:

"Stand clear of the doors please; mind the closing doors."
"Please stand clear of the doors."
"Mind the closing doors."
"Come on, the doors won't close if someone's in the way. It's not difficult - if you want difficult, then try marriage. Marriage is difficult: at least, it is with my wife. Do you know, she left me this morning, on this day of all days. Today's my birthday, and the cow decided she was going to leave me. Today! The miserable cow! Oh I hate her for that, I really do. Mind you, the last 30 years haven't been exactly great, either. The cow."

Poor man! We all looked at each other with mixed expressions of sympathy, embarrassment, and laughter (the quantities of each were, I suspect, determined by people's personal experiences of married life). Then the doors closed, and the driver came on again:

"Thank you, ladies and gentlemen, the train can now leave. Just like her, I suppose." And he went on, moaning about his wife, calling her a cow, over and over.

A good number of us decided to get off at the next station and wait for the following train; and a couple of us found a member of staff who seemed quite friendly, and we explained what was happening, asking if somebody would mind taking the poor driver off the train and giving him some sick leave! I do hope it happened.

   
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