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Old 01-30-2006, 11:55 PM   #1
Richard Waller
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Default Dr. Seuss Explains Why Computers Sometimes crash

Cute....and more up to date than "Peter Piper picked etc etc....."

(Read this to yourself aloud /or get your computer to read the text)...dream on!

If a packet hits a pocket on a socket on a port,
and the bus is interrupted at a very last resort,
and the access of the memory makes your floppy disk abort,
then the socket packet pocket has an error to report.

If your cursor finds a menu item followed by a dash,
and the double-clicking icon puts your Window in the trash,
and your data is corrupted cause the index doesn't hash,
then your situation's hopeless and your system's gonna crash!!

If the label on the cable on the table at your house
says the network is connected to the button on your mouse,
but your packets want to tunnel to another protocol,
that's repeatedly rejected by the printer down the hall,

and your screen is all distorted by the side effects of gauss,
so your icons in the window are as wavy as a souse;
then you may as well reboot and go out with a bang,
'cuz sure as I'm a poet, the sucker's gonna hang!

When the copy of your floppy's getting sloppy in the disk,
and the macro code instructions cause unnecessary risk,
then you'll have to flash the memory and you'll want to RAM your ROM. Quickly turn off the computer and be sure to tell your Mom!

   
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Old 01-31-2006, 07:10 AM   #2
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Richard Waller
[size=2]Cute....and more up to date than "Peter Piper picked etc etc....."
Very! I'm a major, long-time Seuss fan. Because of Random House's very first incarnation of the Dr. Seuss book club [mumble] years ago, I learned to read at 3 years old. I adored the stories, but was frustrated when my big sisters left for school every day and weren't there to read them to me. I was driven to learn to read. Just what the book club was designed to inspire and it worked. <g>

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(Read this to yourself aloud /or get your computer to read the text)...dream on!
I went the lazy route and let the computer read it to me. Until your post I'd never bothered to try OSX's speech services; since you suggested it, I decided to make the computer do the work.

   
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Old 01-31-2006, 09:37 PM   #3
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Originally Posted by ElyseC
I decided to make the computer do the work.
...so you could just lurk
or start with a jerk
when the computer went berserk
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Old 02-01-2006, 09:31 AM   #4
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That would be a fun practical joke to play -- write up an AppleScript that would run and start reading aloud any open Word document or email message when the victim typed a specific set of keystrokes. Heh! Make 'em think their computer is haunted! <gggg>

   
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Old 02-02-2006, 12:30 AM   #5
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Originally Posted by ElyseC
That would be a fun practical joke to play
Actually this is called a virus. For most recipients the computer is quite adequately complicated without them having this sort of thing.

   
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Old 02-02-2006, 04:46 AM   #6
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Originally Posted by Richard Waller
Actually this is called a virus.
No, it's called a joke program. A virus replicates itself.

   
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Old 02-02-2006, 07:52 AM   #7
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No, it's called a joke program. A virus replicates itself.
Indeed. There was once a book, IIRC, that had all sorts of fun and harmless (to the computer) practical jokes one could set up. I believe one was to take a screen snapshot of the entire desktop, then open it in Photoshop or something else and have it display full screen, blotting out the regular menus and all. When the user returns to their machine, nothing they click on on their "desktop" will open. <weg>

   
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Old 02-02-2006, 10:58 AM   #8
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Reminds me of the Mac screen saver that was a screen shot of a Windows desktop. Every Mac user's nightmare...

   
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Old 02-02-2006, 02:30 PM   #9
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Mac screen saver that was a screen shot of a Windows desktop
LOL!

   
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Old 02-02-2006, 03:21 PM   #10
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the Mac screen saver that was a screen shot of a Windows desktop. Every Mac user's nightmare...
I liked the After Dark module that left your desktop in place, but then spawned a bunch of insects (bugs !) that crawled all over it. Some coworkers were quite freaked out by it

   
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