DTP


 
Lively discussions on the graphic arts and publishing — in print or on the web


Go Back   Desktop Publishing Forum > General Discussions > The Corner Pub

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 08-03-2005, 09:17 PM   #1
annc
Sysop
 
annc's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Subtropical Queensland, Australia, between the mountains and the Coral Sea
Posts: 4,436
Default Today's Finest

This is probably not fair, but i can't resist posting it:

Q. What do Geraint Jones and Michael Jackson have in common?
A. They both wear gloves for no apparent reason

Q. What is the height of optimism?
A. An English batsman applying sunscreen.

Q. What does Ashley Giles put in his hands to make sure the next ball almost always takes a wicket?
A. A bat.

Q. What would Glen McGrath be if he was an englishman?
A. An allrounder.

Q. What advantage do Kevin Pieterson, Andrew Strauss and Geraint Jones have over the rest of their team-mates?
A. At least they can say they're not really English.

Q. What is the English version of a hat-trick?
A. Three runs in three balls.

Q. What do you call an Englishman with 100 runs against his name?
A. A bowler.

Q. What is the most proficient form of footwork displayed by English batsmen?
A. The walk back to the pavilion.

Q. Who has the easiest job in the English squad?
A. The guy who removes the red ball marks from the bats.

Q. Why is Andrew Flintoff the unluckiest English player?
A. Because he was born in England.

Q. What does "Ashes" stand for?
A. Another Sad Horrific English Series.

Q. What's the English version of LBW?
A. Lost, Beaten, Walloped.

Q. Who spends the most time on the crease of anyone in the English team?
A. The person who ironed the cricket whites.

   
__________________
annc is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-04-2005, 02:12 AM   #2
BigJohnD
Member
 
BigJohnD's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Glannau Mersi, Lloegr.
Posts: 67
Default Aussies, Poms and The Ashes

Nice one!!

England suffer huge Lord's defeat

Looks like the Aussies will stuff England again. Bring back Botham I say!
(BTW, they call the team England, but really it is a UK team. Dumb English.)
http://bigjohnd.250free.com/dtpforum/ashes.gif from today's The Guardian,4/8/05.

Latest score

   
__________________
Iechyd da! John.

Last edited by BigJohnD; 08-04-2005 at 02:46 AM.
BigJohnD is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-04-2005, 02:08 PM   #3
annc
Sysop
 
annc's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Subtropical Queensland, Australia, between the mountains and the Coral Sea
Posts: 4,436
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by BigJohnD
Looks like the Aussies will stuff England again. Bring back Botham I say!
(BTW, they call the team England, but really it is a UK team. Dumb English.)
Well, it's all about tradition, you know! Now, if they would only dump Warnie, as many think they should, the Poms would have a better chance!
Quote:
Originally Posted by BigJohnD
http://bigjohnd.250free.com/dtpforum/ashes.gif from today's The Guardian,4/8/05.
Can't view that, John. I get a screen to say it's too big for a free account.

   
__________________
annc is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-05-2005, 03:46 AM   #4
Mike
Staff
 
Mike's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Llanwrtyd Wells
Posts: 1,450
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by annc
Can't view that, John. I get a screen to say it's too big for a free account.
Me too.

I assume the original post is about cricket -- that game they play over the border.

   
__________________
Mike

www.welshframing.com
Mike is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-05-2005, 02:04 PM   #5
annc
Sysop
 
annc's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Subtropical Queensland, Australia, between the mountains and the Coral Sea
Posts: 4,436
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mike
Me too.

I assume the original post is about cricket -- that game they play over the border.
Boy, you went feral fast! <ggg>

Aren't several of the current England team Welsh?

   
__________________
annc is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-06-2005, 12:31 PM   #6
PeterArnel
Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: North of Swindon in the UK on the edge of the Cotswolds
Posts: 997
Default

mmmmmmmmmmmmmm
So are u watching the current test --
PeterArnel is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-07-2005, 01:48 AM   #7
Mike
Staff
 
Mike's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Llanwrtyd Wells
Posts: 1,450
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by annc
Aren't several of the current England team Welsh?
I wouldn't know. Maybe they've emigrated...

Heard something on the radio yesterday that suggested the English cricket team are doing quite well -- managed to score a few runs and bowl the other side out before they'd scored so many. 'Spose they're all praying for rain now.

   
__________________
Mike

www.welshframing.com
Mike is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-07-2005, 11:48 AM   #8
PeterArnel
Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: North of Swindon in the UK on the edge of the Cotswolds
Posts: 997
Default

We one - the WELSH wicket keeper caught the final catch
Peter (Gareth)
u sure you're Welsh with a name like Mike :-)
PeterArnel is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-08-2005, 01:49 AM   #9
Mike
Staff
 
Mike's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Llanwrtyd Wells
Posts: 1,450
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by PeterArnel
u sure you're Welsh with a name like Mike :-)
I'm in the process of applying for nationality. <g>

Mike

   
__________________
Mike

www.welshframing.com
Mike is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-30-2005, 02:05 PM   #10
BigJohnD
Member
 
BigJohnD's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Glannau Mersi, Lloegr.
Posts: 67
Default

Apols for the duff link about cricket - try: http://www.johndavies.mersinet.co.uk/pmwin/ashes.gif (350Kb)

And apols for the delayed reply; I've been living it up in France on the vino in Champagne, Alsace and the Bourgogne. If only the vino was as cheap in the UK as it is in La France… (200Kb)



Quote:
that game they play over the border.
You're not confusing St Helens in Abertawe with that place in South Lancashire, are you?

   
__________________
Iechyd da! John.
BigJohnD is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT -8. The time now is 03:33 PM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.9
Copyright ©2000 - 2017, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Contents copyright 2004–2014 Desktop Publishing Forum and its members.