Christmas Cracker Jokes

[dogmandouglas]

A group of fonts walked into a bar. "Get out!" shouted the barman, "We don't serve your type in here!"

Ho, Ho, Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year

Doug

[Michael Rowley]

Doug:

"We don't serve your type in here!"

That's too good for a cracker!

[dogmandouglas]

Hi Michael

I agree, generally the worse the pun – the better Christmas cracker joke.

Anyone come across a howler?

[dthomsen8]

Hi Michael

I agree, generally the worse the pun – the better Christmas cracker joke.

Anyone come across a howler?

No howler, but for the benefits of Americans and other non-Commonwealth types, I provide a link:

Christmas crackers explained. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Christmas_cracker)

[Michael Rowley]

Doug:

A woman in Scotland had two sons who emigrated to Argentina; after a few years, the mother though she should visit them, or they should visit her. So she asked her boys, and being still frugal Scots, they sent a telegram home with just one word: 'Focus'.

So the mother travelled to Argentine—where the sons raise meat.

[Kelvyn]

Xmas cracker jokes are always funny - because they are read after consumption of a good quantity of Christmas spirit....

[Richard Waller]

I thought we always have riddles in Christmas Crackers. Guaranteed to cause a groan:

What is Santa's favourite pizza? One that is deep pan, crisp and even.

What is the longest word in the English language? smiles - because there is a mile between the two s's.

[Barrie Greed]

What lives under the sea and carries people?

Answer tomorrow!