View Full Version : My brother's marrying his sister-in-law
10-24-2005, 03:47 PM
... no, not my wife!
I've just been informed that I'm to be best man. Oh, and the gig's on Saturday - this Saturday! Thanks for the warning, bro. Quick, chaps, give me some ideas for a speech, but bear in mind the following:-
1. How do I say his new wife's really nice, attractive, warm, friendly, hard-working, good sense of humour, etc without comparing her to the previous incumbent?
2. How should I wish them luck without seeming to say "better luck this time"?
3. How rude can I be about him, bearing in mind that won't know half the guests?
4. Basically, what can I say that will give everyone the feel-good factor without on the one hand offending the children from their previous relationships, but on the other hand not being so delicate that the thing falls flat?
Four days to go, and I work 12 hours a day...
10-24-2005, 05:01 PM
Ignore what went before, express positive comments about both of them and their future together, and wish them well.
10-24-2005, 10:36 PM
There must be some stories from your life with your brother that are funny/rude without discussing women. And there must be a story or two about his new wife that will cause a laugh. If all else fails discuss local events in the place where they will be living, or the place of their honeymoon.
Break a leg . . .
6. Basically, what can I say that will give everyone the feel-good factor without on the one hand offending the children from their previous relationships, but on the other hand not being so delicate that the thing falls flat?
You could always tell jokes about Tony Blair -- they generally go down well with most people these days :D
10-25-2005, 02:31 PM
You could always tell jokes about Tony BlairDiolch yn fawr!:)
11-04-2005, 08:10 AM
Well, Robin, are you going to let us know how it went?
11-04-2005, 11:36 AM
OK then. It wasn't a particularly big do: just immediate family members (20 in all).
She's really a very nice woman, my new sister-in-law, but the wedding seemed a bit forced, and artificially happy because of all the complications. I suppose having each other as co-respondents in their divorces must have been tricky for them, but not half as much as it was for their respective children! My bro's girls said the whole thing was sick (he married their auntie), and her boys spoke in monosyllables - when they spoke at all. And while they were reciting their vows I couldn't help thinking "But you both said these words before - and to other people!"
The food was absolutely gorgeous: smoked salmon, peppered steak, creamy dessert, champagne, red and white wines. But the three tables were arranged very formally, and much too far apart. My children and those of the bride and groom were on A, her brother and sister were on B with their children, and the top table had the happy couple with our mum, my wife and me. The trouble with that kind of arrangement was that it was really difficult to encourage those on B to have anything to do with A, and vice versa. We tried to involve them as best we could, but it still felt like three separate functions going on in the same room.
Mother was doing her best to make people feel at home, but frequently put her foot in it, eg (aside, but loud enough for them to hear) "They don't say much, your relatives, do they, dear?" and "Should I stand up and formally welcome the guests into the Springall family?" No, mother, I don't think they're quite ready for that one just yet. Lord have mercy!
So it was all rather awkward and embarassing, really. They should have just had a very quiet do with their children and a couple of witnesses, or (better still) left the whole thing alone for twenty years or so!
11-05-2005, 08:59 PM
Under the circumstances, why the heck didn't they just elope? Sounds like on some level they wanted the spectacle of it...
Sorry if I sound like a grump, but considering my partner and I are barred by state and Federal law from marrying you can imagine this circus show doesn't do a whole lot for the "sanctity of marriage" some are trying so hard to "protect".
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